I finally feel as if I’m getting somewhere with my hooman keepers. They think they have me going to puppy training, sitting, standing, lying down all to teach me these tricks, however all they do is give me more chicken and treats. I know how to sit, stay and do everything they ask, I do it on my own when I want, but now I can get food for staying still and lying down?! I love my Saturday mornings.

There are a few parts of this world I’m not used to though. Firstly, it seems just when I am finished taking the stuffing out of my toys (I don’t know why it’s in there in the first place, I’m freeing it), they go into the cupboard and bring a HUGE cannon-like whirlwind machine that sucks it up and ruins my fun. Not only is it ruining all my hard work, it creates a jaw-clenching sucking noise while it stampedes around MY living room. They call it… the “who-der”? I am however getting used to the fluff sucking wind maker, and can be in the same room as it, although if it comes too close I am hiding on top of my hooman brother or sisters lap as they are my servant protectors.

Secondly, most days I apparently must exercise, total waste if you ask me. My Mum and Dad put on a very revealing and slightly too tight “haar-nus” and drag me out the front door into this freezing weather, all to walk round for half an hour, that’s my valuable sleeping, playing and eating time! Now I know as a puppy I should probably love the idea of dragging a hooman round on a string taking them for a walk and I would, if it wasn’t for the massive moving metal spaceships. Apparently, these “caws” are just going to go past and pay me no attention, but they’re big, and they bark at me as they go super speed soaring into space right next to me. Just you wait till I’m grown, and I get my deep manly bark, then we’ll see who’s scared.

Apart from the occasional, and VERY rational fear of anything that makes a strange noise and or looks different, I LOVE my life here. I get food, treats and play all the time I’m awake, then sleep the rest. I playfight with my brother and sisters everyday and put holes in their silly looking body fabric which is great fun. They tell me I’m too old to still be nibbling, but I won’t stop until I’ve got one of those sausage fingers all to myself, and I’ll keep you updated as to how I get on.

Kenzo